The Silhouette
by SparkieSchteff
Summary: There are a number of robberies happening in Dalston and one that could affect the Nabootique and the boys. No swearing or violence yet but will up the rating if need to.
1. Target: The Zooniverse

**So I thought I should maybe write something and felt in the mood anyway so here is the first chapter, sort of like a tester because I don't know if people will be interested in this. Basically if there's no interest I just won't continue it, simple as :)**

**Can't remember where this idea came from but I like it :)  
Disclaimer: I don't own the Boosh at all, we all know that, also I am making no profit at all from this, it's just for people who are bored and like Boosh fiction!  
So enjoy xxx**

**Target - The Zooniverse**

Under the light of the moon the Zoo is deadly quiet apart from the odd groan from a lion or the gentle chirping of the birds, the large iron gates have been closed and padlocked for the night, the door to the Reptile house has been secured and the souvenir stall is closed.

The animals sleep peacefully in their cages while a shadow flits past the enclosures; it goes unnoticed with barely a shuffle of its foot or the gentle rasp of its breath. A tiger stirs and stares up into the gloom of the Zoo with its piercing yellow eyes but decides it saw nothing and drops its furry head back down to rest once again.

A silhouette creeps along the wall of the hut it is targeting, with its back pressed neatly up against the wall it checks for signs of life other than that of the animals around it. With the sight clear it sets to work and pulls glasscutters from its belt of black material wrapped neatly around its waist, with its steel wheel previously oiled the silhouette presses it against the thin cheap window and starts cutting.

When it is satisfied with its work it expertly taps the glass letting it fall forwards slightly into the hut, it grasps the glass with both it's leather clad fingertips and gently lowers it to the floor without making a single sound. The silhouette clambers up silently into the hut by swinging a leg up and over the window ledge and pulls itself into the room that houses the office of the Zoo.

The darkened figure can be seen better in the light of the office though no one is around to see it, instead of being just an ''it'' he is a man dressed completely in black with just a gap in the material for his eyes. A pair of leather gloves sit gently on his hands keeping his fingerprints safely out of the way while two neat black trainers cover his feet, a pair that are soft and good for running in if the need arises. He searches the office for nothing special, just a bit of cash or something that would sell for good money. He pulls out drawers filled with paper work and office stationary and slides them back with ease, he doesn't loose his patience and doesn't become too loud. He carries on until finally he finds several wads of Euros in a box under a bunch of files and slips them neatly into the inside of his black outfit without even bothering to count them, he knows there are easily over five hundred Euros in his possession. He shuts the last draw leaving the box where it was but now empty and begins on the filing cabinets behind, he discovers the key to them has been stupidly left on top of the cabinet making his job a lot more easier.

After sorting through the files he finds nothing of interest only paperwork he does not need however he does come upon the Deed to the Zoo, with the piece of paper in his hand he stares at it and takes in its detail. It is slightly crumpled as though someone has just stuffed it into a bag and not cared about it for a while and there is a stain of coffee on one of the corners. He folds it neatly in half then half again and slips it inside his outfit.

Before leaving the hut he takes one last glance around searching for anything of value, when happy he slips out of the window and hurries off into the night without panicking and without a sound, only a smile rests upon his covered lips.


	2. Expert theft at run down Zoo

**Its not massive but its longer than the previous chapter x) And thank you for the reviews it got and thanks for the hits :)  
Nothing to say really except I don't own of course.  
xxx**

**Expert theft at run down Zoo**

Vince woke to the sunlight streaming in through the window onto his face, he shuffled about in his sleeping bag trying to roll over and go back to sleep but he was already too tangled up in the material. He sat up sleepily and struggled to free an arm to rub his eyes and run a hand through his hair, he stifled a yawn and felt a headache coming on.  
"Mornin' Howard." He mumbled but got no reply; he glanced to his left and noticed his best friend's empty sleeping bag lay discarded in a twisted heap on the floor. He tumbled out and shivered as the cold hit him, in just his pyjamas he ventured out of the Zoo hut only to be greeted by the sight of Policemen everywhere. His eyes widened as he bumbled through them sleepily until he noticed Bob Fossil's office window, the glass was missing but there wasn't any sign of it being shattered from the outside or the inside.

"Vince!" A familiar voice called, Vince turned to see Howard weaving through the policeman and the crowd that had gathered to see what all the fuss and blue lights were about "Vince, are you alright?"  
"Yeah…What happened here Howard?"  
"Someone broke into the Zoo last night."  
"Anything missing?"  
"Some money and the Deed to the Zoo, Fossil's being interviewed right now. The Police want to speak to us, you better go get dressed."  
"What? I don't want to be interviewed! We didn't do anything!"  
"I know, I know…It's just procedure. They need as much information as possible." Vince fell silent and nodded glumly glancing at the officers around him "Go get dressed, I'll be back at the hut in a few minutes."

-

He sat at the table idly flicking through a magazine seeming to not have a care in the world, as the door to the hut was opened with a creak he glanced up and shut Dazed and Confused while pushing it aide.  
Howard stood in the doorway smiling nervously with two officers behind him, as they entered they were followed by Bob Fossil who sat down on the couch while Howard took up another chair at the table.  
"Mr. Noir?" The male officer asked holding out a hand for Vince to shake.  
"Yeah, call me Vince." He shook the hand, which felt hot and clammy against his own cool dry skin.  
"Now we need to ask you a few questions about where you were last night." The female officer opened a notebook up while taking a seat opposite Vince and Howard, she pulled a pen from her coat and chewed on it while starring at the boys in front of her "Starting with where you were last night between the hours the Zoo closed, seven o'clock, till around four in the morning." Vince bit his lip for a moment while Howard gave his answer for them.  
"We were both asleep in here."  
"And Vince?" The officer asked more directly to the young mod.  
"I was asleep all night, once I'm asleep that's it. I don't wake for anythin'. I'm a pretty heavy sleeper." The woman took some notes then quickly stuffed the pen lid back into her mouth clamping it between her teeth, she seemed much younger than the male officer and was probably new to the team.  
"Ok and neither of you heard a thing?" The male officer carried on looking mainly at Vince.  
"Not a thing, like I said…I sleep like a rock."  
"Okay, and we know Mister Fossil was first to arrive at the scene but were either of you two second?"  
"I was." Howard pointed out making the woman scribble some more notes.  
"And you were sleeping? Vince?"  
"Yeah. Sorry." He replied with a slight shy smile playing at his lips.  
"Thank you for your time, I think we're done here." As the officers left, Bob Fossil turned to both Vince and Howard with a stern look on his face.  
"Look you two sleaze-bags, if I find out either one of you broke into that office I'm gonna hang your necks from the grey leg of the leg face man! You got that?"  
"Yes, mister Fossil." Howard replied as their boss spat venom.  
"And next time I stick you two losers on night watch you better do a better job than this one! Night watch means you don't fall asleep, comprende?"  
"Yes mister Fossil." Vince sighed rolling his eyes and smirking at his boss' back as he stormed from the hut "What a ball bag."  
"Vince, this is really serious. Someone broke in while _we_ were asleep, we could have got kicked out of the Zoo for that."  
"Yeah, but we didn't did we? Just chill out Howard. There's no way that guys coming back, he's got all he wants from the Zoo. There's nothin' else to nick is there?"  
"Why are you always so laid back about everything? Don't you even care?" Howard left the hut slamming the door behind him leaving Vince in the silent room.  
"Course I care." He muttered to nothing while tutting and flicking his magazine back open.

-

Howard found himself stood in front of the boarded up window of Mr Fossil's office; he could hear him inside with Dixon Bainbridge both yelling about something or other.  
He scanned the floor beneath the window not believing that not a single shard of glass was shattered and that no fingerprints or bit of material were picked up. It were as though the burglar was a ghost and had swept in without touching a thing, taken the money and left.  
"Hey Howard, the Zoos in the paper." Vince grinned handing over a crumpled copy of the local newspaper.  
"Expert theft at run down Zoo." He read the headline aloud and quickly scanned over the article, which was full of detail about how the glass was cut and what was used to cut it.  
"There's this massive theory about him climbin' over the gates just to get in to nick a bit of cash."  
"Yeah…Not really a _massive_ theory now is it, Vince? And who said the burglar's a he?" he slapped the paper back into Vince's chest and hurried away to get on with his jobs for the day.  
"The paper did." He replied after his friend while waving the newspaper in the air only to toss it into a bin on his way back to the hut.


	3. Target: An empty residential house

**Ello! Chapter 3, as always I don't own!  
xxx**

**Target – An empty residential house**

He's been stalking the street for weeks, picking a certain house that appears to be well off and stands out from the rest but he also needs an empty house and preferably one that's relatively easy to break into.

Then his prayers are answered, while staking a house out early one morning a family leave for a vacation at around two in the morning. He waits in the shadows, crouching low in some bushes before making his approach. He sneaks and tiptoes, his shoes hardly making a sound on the road or pavement, he creeps along the wall while checking for signs of life and eventually makes it to the back door.

Just to be sure he shakes the handle a little letting it rattle, it's locked so he stands back and processes his options through his mind. As he peers up he catches sight of a window, which is slightly open; he traces a route upward with his eyes and sets to work first clambering up the drainpipe. He scales the wall and balances on a tight ledge while slipping three fingers inside the window and pulling it open, he can't believe his luck as he hauls himself inside gently.

He lets his eyes focus in the dark, not wanting to turn on the lights and draw attention to himself, he soon discovers he's in a child's bedroom, probably an eight year old boy's room. Toys lay scattered all over the floor, lego models cover one area while a pile of toy soldiers covers another. He bends down onto one knee and examines a Lego model of an aeroplane; he turns it over in his hands and gives the plastic rotor blades a quick spin before crushing it effortlessly in one hand. Lego bricks tumble to the floor as he drops the plane in two halves onto a Lego boat, he straightens up and crunches the boat under his right foot then continues smashing the lego until nothing is left but Lego rubble. He scans the child's room for anything of value and immediately spots a handheld PSP on the bedside table; he snatches it up and slips it inside the black rucksack on his back.

Before he leaves the bedroom his eyes spot a child's flashlight on the floor by the bed; he scoops it up and flicks it on. It still works but shines the Batman logo wherever he points it but it doesn't bother him, he just gets on with the job.

He doesn't steal anything large like the wide screen TV bolted to the wall in one of the rooms, it's simply too big to carry from a bedroom window by himself and he certainly isn't up for carrying it through the streets while trying to run if he actually got it to the ground without smashing it. Instead of the large television he unplugs the games console sat neatly on a cabinet beneath it and stuffs it into his black bag along with a couple of games and the controllers without forgetting all the cables which tangle up in his hands. He tries to keep calm as he screws the wires into a clumsy ball and pushes them inside a side pocket trapping them behind a zip.

As he switches from room to room he pushes small things like tiny glass ornaments into his bag not really caring if they break or not, he's already made a bit of cash with the latest games console. He also steals a couple of CDs from the shelves without bothering to check the artist names on the front, he isn't interested in keeping any of the goods he steals, he only wants to make extra money by selling them on.

The last room he checks is the kitchen, he pulls open draws of cutlery and one packed with kitchen knives all different shapes for bread, meat or cheese. He dismisses them, he's never really liked knives anyway and has no desire to stab or kill anyone. He slips a bottle of Jack Daniel's into his bag and steals a couple of chocolate bars from the fridge, they were the only thing in there apart from a tiny bit of milk in the bottom of a bottle, a pack of butter and an unopened block of cheese.

After searching through the whole house keeping away from exposed windows he also collects up a leather purse full of cash along with a couple of mobile phones, some trinkets he knows is valuable and some fancy jewellery from one of the bedrooms. To leave he heads for the child's room while dropping chocolate bar wrappers wherever he pleases then throws a leg over the window cill and slips back onto the ledge; he shuts the window gently and makes his way down leaving the house as it was apart from the stolen goods and the Lego models. When in the garden he clambers over the wall into the alley behind and hurries off into the cold night trying to stop his bag from making too much noise as he runs.


	4. Neighbour sees ‘Silhouette of man’

**Okay so it's not very long but I'm happy with it however it might tense change...I scoured it and sorted most out but I'm not perfect so sorry if you come across any or too much of it... x)  
Anyway, I don't own as per**

**xxx**

**Neighbour sees 'Silhouette of man' leave empty house**

Naboo sat quietly in the flat with his feet up on the coffee table, the latest copy of the newspaper lying on his lap. He read it slowly and once he'd finished he read it again but a little more quicker, he studied the photograph on the front, it was of a family house with the family stood outside looking a little miserable.  
"Tea?" A voice suggested stirring Naboo from the paper, he looked up to see Vince by the kettle starring back at him waiting for a reply.  
"Yeah, please."  
"What you readin'?"  
"Newspaper."  
"Oh yeah I can see that, what's so interesting in it today?" Vince noisily made tea in the kitchen; he dropped cups onto the counter and slammed the cupboards and fridge door.  
"A family's house got robbed last week while they were on holiday."  
"Oh yeah? What was nicked?"  
"Stuff…PSP, jewellery, games console…The usual stuff burglar's nick."  
"Right." Vince sat down on the couch and dropped two cups onto the table while batting Naboo's feet away "So where did it happen?" Naboo folded and tossed the paper onto Vince's lap then collected his cup of tea and sat silently sipping at it.

Without a word Vince flicked to the story and read it silently to himself until he felt someone else sit down on the couch, he averted his attention from the paper but none of the text had sunk in.  
"Anything interesting in that?" Howard asked while putting his own cup of tea down on the table in place of where Naboo's had been.  
"Some house got robbed, here. I don't do readin'." He passed it along again and with a sigh, Howard read it aloud.  
"Another home was targeted last week while a family of four was away on holiday. A neighbour reported to the police that they saw 'a silhouette of a man' leaving the house in the middle of the night. The neighbour was up at the time attending to her newborn crying infant.  
The police contacted the family who were flown straight home to assess the damage, numerous goods were stolen including eight-year old Sam's handheld PSP, the young boy also told police his Lego models had been smashed to pieces." Howard paused and burrowed his brow "Why smash an eight year old's set of Lego?"  
"Cos Lego's shit." Naboo replied while starring down into his drink.  
"As if it is!" Vince retorted.  
"It is when you have Shaman Lego." Vince shrugged and smiled slightly as Howard carried on.  
"Among the jewellery and family heirlooms that had been taken, a games console and some of the games were also reported missing. The burglar is said to have gotten into the house via an open bedroom window, it is unknown why they only destroyed Lego and didn't turn the rest of the house upside down. Police are linking this robbery with the one that happened at the Zooniverse before it closed down where money and the Deed to the Zoo was stolen."  
"That house is only down the street." Naboo added "I thought it looked familiar when I first picked up the paper."  
"What if that guy breaks into the shop?" Howard asked quickly while folding the paper in half in his lap.  
"Well you better make sure he doesn't. That's his fourth robbery, assumin' it's the same guy. I'm gonna cast a few spells on the shutters, y'know? Extra security." Howard nodded "And you two can get back to work now while I do that."

-

Howard leant against the counter starring at nothing in particular while Vince sat in the chair by the window idly flicking through a magazine. He watched the younger man for a while then glanced around the shop at all the silly trinkets they sold, he walked over to a shelf that sold a few strange but exotic looking things and picked one of the ornaments up, it was a vase that was decorated gently in gold, silver and bronze patterns. It was very pretty but he'd never seen it before.  
"Vince?"  
"Mmm?" He replied without looking up from his magazine.  
"Has Naboo restocked the shop lately?"  
"Dunno…Maybe."  
"I've never seen some of this stuff before."  
"So? He restocks all the time without telling us; most of it's probably from Xooberon or somethin'. Who cares?"  
"Well have you ever thought it might be…Y'know…Stolen?" Vince looked up quickly at his best friend with a look of seriousness on his face.  
"Naboo wouldn't steal…Would he? You don't think _he_ nicked that stuff from that house do you?" He got up leaving his magazine behind him and joined Howard at the shelves starring at the vase "He couldn't have…Naboo's not like that Howard!"  
"No I suppose not…" He set the vase back as the tiny Shaman emerged from the flat with a suitcase in his left hand.  
"Right you're in charge, the spells have been cast and only work when you close and lock up shop."  
"Okay Naboo. Where you off to?" Howard asked spinning round a little too quickly and nearly knocking the vase off the shelf.  
"Shaman meetin'. Dunno when I'll be back but when I am I expect this weeks and last weeks rent."  
"Where's Bollo?" Vince asked quickly changing the subject but Naboo just shrugged.  
"He's been out all day, he's sposed to be comin' to this meetin' but he's buggered off."  
"Oh…"  
"Right, I'm off. See ya." As Naboo left Howard and Vince turned to look at each other, Howard spoke first.  
"You don't think…Bollo can't be the burglar can he?"


	5. Target: The Nabootique

Okay so it's not very long and I'm not entirely happy with how the ending turned out but I wanted to get this written so here it is. I'm aiming for one last chapter after this but we'll see if I can get it all in! And again I hope it doesn't tense change :(

Disclaimer then: I own nothing of course

xxx

**Target – The Nabootique**

The little shop is pitch black as he stands there in the middle of it just gazing round; he swings his bag off his shoulders and lets it thump to the floor. A soft chink of glass can be heard as he sorts through the contents, he pulls out an empty Bottle of Baileys and sets it down by his knee.

One by one he pulls out trinkets, jewellery and ornaments until his bag is empty and the floor is decorated. He gathers some up into his hands, strings of pearl necklaces dangle off his fingers along with gold link chains and silver pendant charms. they tinkle softly as he hangs them on a plastic model of a hand on one of the shelves.

Next he brings a torch out from his bag and clicks it on letting a soft glow and the batman logo shine against a counter as he lies it on the floor by his bag. He can see a little better and brings out an ornament which he thought resembled a woman dancing but was basically a mass of shapes weaving in and out of each other. He decides he likes it and places it on one of the shelves higher up out of reach of any children.

After he empties his bag completely he leaves it in the middle of the room with his torch and hurries to the till which he opens with ease, he examines the money before pulling it out and decides in his head to only take a couple of notes. He had enough money to last him from his previous jobs during the nights.

He glanced towards the door to the shop and saw the moon light casting shadows onto the road outside, the street lamps mingled with the white light creating a sort of orange haze on the tarmac. He shook the thoughts from his head and began counting the Euros in his hands while wandering over to his bag, his eyes glued to the money at all times.

The Batman logo flickers gently and dims but he doesn't mind too much, he only kept it because it was handy and he had used it to run through the pitch black alley the night he broke into the family home. He had just forgotten to discard of it.

With the money counted and rolled into a neat bundle he crouches and slips it into a side pocket on his bag and zips it up quickly. the noise from the zip vibrates slightly on his fingers, a dog howls outside the shop and the Batman logo disappears plunging him into darkness again with only the faint aid of the moon, he could turn the lights on but it would only attract unwanted attention.

He scooped it up into his hands and balanced on one knee while flicking the torch on and off repeatedly but nothing happened, it was dead. He tosses it aside letting it clatter across the floor and crash into a counter with a loud thump, he winces as it makes too much noise and curses himself at his own foolishness.

Slowly he stands and gazes at the shelves in front of him, he blinks a couple of times trying to get his eyes to adjust to the sudden darkness, soon silhouettes of items appear on the shelves but each one seems entirely different from what they actually are. He sees shadows flit across the ceiling in the corner of his eye but as soon as he focuses directly on them they disappear.

He stuffs his hands into his pockets and cocks his head slightly at the displays then takes one foot forward.

There's a sudden smash.

A smash against the side of his head and an echo of metal.

His head vibrates and his body jumps with the sudden shock then falls down toward the shop floor into the darkness.

His foot catches the glass bottle by his bag and sends it rolling with a hard chink across the floor.

Then there was silence.

Silence that is only shattered by heavy breathing.


	6. Police are baffled

**Oh**** no it's really short :( But I just had to stop in the place I did :) And I think I made it too obvious through the rest of the chapters but oh well, there's probably one more chapter after this. I say that but you know what I'm like 8-)**

**Anyway, I don't own anything (only boxsets and a t-shirt) and here's where it starts to get slightly Alternate Universe :)**

**xxx**

**Police baffled at identity of the Silhouette**

Howard checked the time on the DVD display under the television, it was gone midnight and the film he had been watching with Vince had long since finished. The only reason he hadn't drifted off to bed was because Vince had fallen asleep against him, his head resting neatly on Howard's shoulder. Now he was feeling the strain and was desperate for his own bed but hadn't the heart to wake his best friend, instead he gently slipped the slumbering mod's head off his shoulder and let it flop onto the back of the sofa. Before wandering off to bed himself he dragged Vince's quilt over to the chair and arranged it over his quiet best friend who was still fast asleep.

-

It was one in the morning when Howard was woken by a sudden crash, he sat bolt up right in bed and listened carefully. He could hear someone moving about downstairs, quickly he pulled a jumper and some trousers on while straining his hearing then quietly he slipped out of the bedroom and took one glance at the sofa. Vince must have stirred in his sleep, in the dark he could make out the bumpy silhouette of the duvet he had lay over Vince an hour ago. He was still asleep.

Howard thought things through for a minute, he couldn't sneak downstairs unarmed, he hadn't heard in the papers anything about the Silhouette carrying a weapon but then again he didn't know for sure if it was the same person down there. He crept into the kitchen, tiptoeing past the sofa where Vince lay and rummaged as gently as he could through the cupboards before bringing out a large frying pan Bollo had insisted they bought ages ago. It would have to do, Vince was sleeping and wouldn't be much help and Bollo and Naboo were still away on Shaman business, he was totally alone.

He made his way down the stairs careful to avoid the bottom step which creaked loudly whenever someone stood on it, he held the pan high like a baseball bat wishing he had one of those to hand. As he reached the bottom he took a large step over the squeaking step and peered round the wall into the shop. A dark figure, a silhouette indeed, was standing with its back to Howard, hands in pockets, admiring the shelves. A crumpled bag lay on the floor by his feet along with what looked like a bottle, it was too hard to tell. The shop was pitch black and the shutters were down, Howard blinked several times allowing his eyes to focus then gripping the handle of the pan in his sweating palms he lunged for the figure swinging the object with all his strength.

There was a loud clang of metal as it smashed against the skull of the burglar, the figure slumped silently to the floor and lay sprawled in the darkness, the glass bottle was knocked over and rolled away into the darkness. Howard took a deep breath unaware he had held it for a long time and nudged the leg of the person on the floor, when there was no movement from him he kicked his leg a little harder but there was still nothing. Breathing more calmly now, he placed the pan upon the counter and felt around on the wall for the light switch. When he found it he paused and kept his eyes on the man then flicked it filling the room with white light.

The burglar's face lay away from Howard's view, all he saw was the back of a black hood and a hand which was definitely a male's. Slowly Howard made his way over to the figure and crouched down, as he rolled the Silhouette over a gasp escaped his mouth leaving him practically speechless.

All he managed to say was, "Vince?"


	7. Silhouette now shadow of the past?

**So I know I said this would be the last chapter but a new idea sparked and I re-wrote most of this chapter before posting it so there might be another or five more, who knows with me? I'm not aiming for a double figure chapter story though so deep breath of relief!  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything as you all know by now :)**

xxx 

**Silhouette now shadow of the past?**

Howard recovered from his shock quickly and bit back the anger he felt bubbling inside him, checking the shop door was locked he quickly scooped his best friend up in his arms and carried him up the stairs. He lay him down on the carpet and flung back the duvet cover on the sofa only to reveal a bunch of cushions innocently imitating Vince's body. Howard shut his eyes and rubbed them vigourously then hauled the cushions onto the floor, straightened the duvet back out on the sofa and pulled Vince onto it putting one of the cushions under his head.

He flicked the light on in the flat and went to quickly retrieve the black bag he had seen along with the frying pan. He took a few moments to examine the shop and the things on sale in the shelves, half of it he didn't recognise. He stuffed a torch and bottle he had found into the bag and plunged the shop into darkness.

With the bag hidden and Vince comfortable on the sofa, he sat and waited for him to come round while keeping an eye on the time.

-

Colours and shapes swirled in the darkness in front of him, his eyes felt a little sore and his head was thumping painfully. A sudden dizziness washed over him as he touched a hand to his temple then quickly snatched it away, he opened his eyes a little and found himself starring up at a ceiling blinded by the bright lights. He looked around and didn't recognise his surroundings. He sat up gently trying to avoid more dizzy nausea and glanced around the room he was in, he was lay on a sofa in a flat and on the coffee table in front of him was an empty mug and a wrist watch.

A kettle boiled behind him and the sound of another mug being slammed onto a counter rung in his ears, he swallowed hard and felt his heart rate quicken. His sweating fingers subconsciously gripped the duvet cover he was lying on creating creases in the fabric. He didn't dare turn round and peer over the sofa, instead he kept his breathing shallow trying not to panic and let his head flop back down onto the lumpy cushion. He listened carefully to the noises coming from the kitchen and winced every time something was slammed or dropped.

The tinkling of a teaspoon against a full mug of what smelt like coffee signalled he was no longer safe from whoever was behind him. He swallowed hard and took a deep breath holding it in as someone approached the coffee table and sat down heavily upon it letting the beverage slosh over the sides as it was slammed onto the wood.

Vince eyed the man who sat down opposite him, he seemed to glare at him with such anger and hurt which made Vince back away as much as he could into the sofa. He swallowed hard trying to clear his dry throat then spoke, "Uhm...Wh-"

"Don't even begin to apologise!" The man began cutting him short, shocking him a little "What the hell were you doing down there in the shop?"

"What shop?"

"Don't play dumb with me! I caught you in the shop stealing money!"

"What are you talking about? Who the hell are you?" Vince's voice quivered as it rose in volume, the man looked taken aback.

"What do you mean who am I?"

"It's a simple enough question isn't it? Who are you? And where am I?" The man didn't reply, instead a slam of a door below broke the silence making him jump suddenly and get up off the table as though he had had a shock.

"Just stay there." The man backed away and hurried down the stairs where a conversation broke out, Vince sat propped up on his elbows and listened but he didn't recognise the voices. He glanced about the room he was in but none of it seemed familiar, he dropped his head back down onto the cushion as he heard footsteps on the stairs. His fingers gripped at the duvet again scrunching the fabric up into balls in his sweating palms.

"He says he can't remember a thing." The first man finished as he reached the top of the stairs with a small man dressed in colourful robes and a gorilla behind them. Vince's eyes widened at the large animal that seemed completely normal to the other two men.

"What the hell?" He muttered without releasing his vice like grip on the duvet.

"Alright Vince?" The small man asked not moving from his place at the stairs.

"How do you know my name?" The man's brow creased as he approached and sat on the coffee table, he starred at Vince with hawk like eyes "Who are you?"

"My name's Naboo. This is Howard, " He motioned to the first man "And this is Bollo." And to the gorrila.

"You can't keep a gorilla in a house."

"_I_ can." Naboo replied still starring at him, "Lift your head up a second." Vince obeyed and steadily lifted his painful thumping head to reveal the purple bruise formed on his temple "Ouch, you're a psycho with the frying pan Howard."

"What?" Vince sat upright from the sofa and glared at the man they called Howard "You smashed me on the head with a frying pan? When? What the hell for? And where am I?" He cried leaping to his feet but Naboo was faster and pushed him back down with ease.

"Shut up Vince, you're in the flat you live in you ball bag. You're lucky I'm not gonna fire you for stealin' from the shop and the other places."

"Lucky?" Howard cut in before Vince had a chance.

"Yeah, Howard he was cursed by something. I don't know what but there's definitely a trace of a curse in him and when you smashed him over the head you broke the curse."

"Why can't he remember anything then?"

"Because you broke the curse in the wrong way you jerk off. You handled it violently, you're supposed to lift them gently with spells. A blow to the head works just as well but has bad consequences."

"Yeah, I can see that Naboo. Can you fix his memory?"

"I'll see what I can do, but first..." Naboo leant towards Vince and lay his fingers on his temples careful not to put pressure on the bruise.

"What the hell are you doing? Get off me! I don't even know who you are! Let me go, why did you kidnap-" Vince's eyes closed and his head fell limp into Naboo's hands who lay him down on the cushion gently.

"What did you do?" Howard asked quickly while sorting his best friend's legs out by placing them onto the sofa.

"He's asleep."

"Why did you do that?"

"Because he was doin' my head in." Naboo shrugged and ordered Bollo to follow him into their room.

"Well hang on, what are you gonna do? What should I do?"

"Make sure he doesn't wake up and if he does keep him clam. Don't let him leave the house, I'll probably be finished by the time he wakes up anyway. I have to find a cure for amnesia now." The bedroom of the Shaman shut quickly leaving Howard in the silence of the flat, he sighed and grabbed his empty mug to make another coffee.


	8. No more sightings of the Silhouette

**Bit long because I didn't want to be writing more chapters of this, quite frankly I'm fed up of this now XD  
So final disclaimer for this : I do not own :) Never have, never will! **

**Thank god this is finished  
Xxx **

**No more sightings of the Silhouette **

Howard sat back down on the coffee table with his fourth cup, the morning's newspaper lay beside his leg crumpled and folded roughly in half, it hadn't said much and for once the 'Silhouette' wasn't on the front cover.

He watched Vince sleep for a while and wondered how long it would be until he woke up, he heard no sounds coming from Naboo's room and desperately wanted to check up on him and see how he was getting on but he knew it would annoy the Shaman.

Every time Vince stirred in his sleep, Howard jumped a little, he mumbled softly in a dreamy fashion but no sense could be made of what he said. After finishing his coffee he went straight for another and some lunch.

-

Vince woke slowly, his eyes blinked rapidly as they adjusted to the light, he flexed his limbs gently and stifled a yawn then froze as he took in his surroundings. He was still in the strange flat but there was no one in sight, he could only hear the faint rumble of a boiling kettle. As he struggled to sit up a desperate need to go to the toilet flooded through him, he studied the doors not knowing which was for what room. Quickly he hurried over to the first one and gently swung it open to reveal a bedroom which was littered with clothes, hair products and shoes. Pulling a face he tried the next one only to be caught by the man who was called Howard, he leapt back from the door and backed away from him a little.

"What are you doing?"

"Bathroom?"

"That one." He pointed with his full steaming mug at one of the doors, Vince half smiled and hurried in locking the door behind him.

After he was finished he slumped against the door and let himself slide down to the floor, he held his throbbing head in his hands. The bruise looked horrible, he didn't want to be near the man who had caused it and couldn't stand to make eye contact with him.

'What am I going to do?' he thought to himself as a soft knock came from the other side, he kept quiet and even held his breath.

"Are you okay?"

"Fine." He replied resting his head on the back of the door "I just..." He stammered slightly taking a much needed breath "Just wanna be on my own for a bit."

"You can go in the bedroom you know?" Vince didn't reply, he didn't even know where his bedroom was and had no idea if it really was in this flat or in a completely different building, it could have been all the way in New York for all he knew.

He sat silently and starred at the wall, the floor, the bath whatever he could to stop himself from going insane. Thoughts, images and voices echoed in his head. He saw the man behind the door knocking him out with a large pan and saw the Shaman putting him to sleep by the touch of his fingers to his head and saw himself stumble through some unknown streets. He closed his eyes as more images came, he was quite obviously drunk and was making a riot down the dark street as he bumped into someone. The someone was fuzzy but he could make out what he was wearing, the man in front of him shouted at him, cursed him and then the image stopped and he was back in the white bathroom with someone knocking on the door behind his head.

"Vince, let me in." Came a lisped voice "I can help you." Slowly and shakily he unlocked the door and stood looking a little sheepish. The small Shaman showed no expression on his face as he handed over a bottle of thick orange liquid "Drink it, everything will be sorted."

Vince starred at the mess in the bottle, it was still bubbling and was heating the glass of the bottle. He fiddled with the lid and as it came away a strong smell of orange and toffee filled the bathroom, he stared wide eyed at it then looked up at the Shaman and uttered a few words, "A man in a black hat with a feather in it."

-

Naboo had taken a few minutes to register what Vince had babbled about, he had spluttered the words out so fast they had to calm him down and get him to repeat what he had said a few more times.

"I'm telling you I stumbled through the streets drunk and a man in a black hat with a feather and wearing a cape started shouting gibberish at me." The bottle of potion had cooled in his vice like grip as he babbled about the incident from a few weeks ago.

"Okay, okay. Just calm down and drink that, if it gets cold it won't have any effect." Naboo ordered while pushing Vince's hand up towards his mouth, he watched as the Mod swallowed it in large gulps then winced as it went down his throat "Yeah it's a bit tangy, not bad though. I managed to mask the usual bad smell of it with oranges."

"And toffee." Vince added wiping his sticky mouth as Naboo stood as Bollo entered the room with a large rolled up carpet.

"Where are you off to then?" Howard asked quickly standing and watching the gorilla carry the large magic carpet down the stairs.

"Shaman meeting, got some business to attend to." Naboo tapped his nose a couple of times "Keep an eye on him, potion should start working in a few minutes. Everything will come back slowly, just help him along, y'know?" Howard nodded and let Naboo leave.

-

"Ah, Naboo why have you come before us today?" The Head Shaman asked as Naboo entered a clearing with his familiar.

"Came to confront that jerk off." He shot a pointed finger out at Saboo who's expression didn't falter "He cursed Vince and made him break into houses and shops nickin' whatever he could get his hands on."

"What proof do you have?" Saboo's deep voice replied sounding completely confident.

"Vince said a man wearing a hat with a feather in and a cape on stopped him and started shouting at him in the street. Who else do we know that wears a black hat, feather and cape? It's not exactly an inconspicuous outfit is it? Don't exactly blend in wearin' that get up."

"That's rich coming from someone who wears robes in public. That's not exactly keeping you hidden is it?"

"I don't need to be hidden, I've lived there for years. No one takes any notice of me or Bollo."

"Of course not." Saboo rolled his eyes sarcastically at Naboo "You're pathetic and so are your ball bag flat mates. You'll all crumble when it comes to the Crunch."

"Oh yeah here we go again, when you got nothing better for a come back you go off on one about the Crunch! We've all been, no one gives a shit!"

"That is enough!" Dennis ordered standing, the two bickering shaman were silenced "Saboo, is it true you cursed this mortal?"

"Yes sir, I did."

"And do you have a reasonable explanation for that?" Saboo thought for a moment then shook his head.

"No not really, only that he was doing my head in."

"Yeah Vince does that a lot." Naboo agreed.

"True as that may be, we do not put someone under a curse when they annoy us, is that understood?" Saboo nodded "Good, now Naboo you are dismissed." Now it was Naboo's turn to roll his eyes as he left muttering he had summoned them to a Shaman meeting.

"Come on Bollo, better get back and see if he's remembered who he is yet."


End file.
